“i will hold you in my heart until i hold you in heaven.” 🌹
my dearest jaeyun,
i haven’t written to you in a while and for that i sincerely apologize. there are so many things happening at the same time this end of year, i just haven't lost my head yet 'cause it's stuck to my neck! and i haven't lost my sanity for i have you in my life, keeping me happy and bringing me the light i need to move on and keep going. 💖
in any case, although very busy and confused with the whirlwind of things going on without stopping, many good things also happened to me in that little time i stopped writing to you! let's see... i finally managed to let go of my social media addiction for good and decided to start totally prioritizing my mental health above all else, so i deactivated all my medias and put my phone aside for longer (although now i’m using my free time to be here at neocities and spend the day on tiktok... but at least i’m being productive in writing posts for my blogs and learning how to code websites, right?). and, along with that, since we are already in the last month of the year, i have also started to organize myself right for next year and create my lists of goals and a healthier routine to follow in the new year! you'd be very proud of me, wouldn't you, yunie? 🍰
i want to always strive to be someone better with each new day, because you inspire me to give my all and always be my best version, no matter how challenging and difficult life is. also, my love, i’m finally starting to put certain hurts aside and take care of myself right, making choices that i know will bring the best results for my well-being and seeking the help i need! and it’s ‘cause i know it's okay not to be tough 100% of the time and need a little hand to get back on your feet at certain times. things may not be easy, but we always need to remember that we aren’t on this journey alone and that there’s always a friendly shoulder willing to also extend the hand you need to give you that tug and pick you up from where you fell! but that's just a message to myself, because i’m sure you already know that, don't you? i’m so, so glad you have the boys by your side. your 6 soul brothers, these caring people who love you more than anything and who will always be willing to give you all the affection and comfort possible, because they recognize how amazing and how special you are and know right away that this is the treatment you deserve. how grateful i am that you’re always together, making each other laugh and living your best moments together, creating the best memories side by side. 💕
oh, and quoting memories! there is one more little thing i would like to mention at this “recapture” moment. guess what finally arrived after a looong trip from south korea to brazil? YOUR ALBUM! the orange blood is finally in my hands, i can finally say full of pride that i’m the mom of this beautiful thing and that i will be taking the greatest care of this preciousness with all the love and care of this world! oh, my pooh bear, i can’t even describe how much i loved every little detail of this comeback. of course, from the very beginning i was already waiting for something grandiose and magnificent (after all, we are talking about enhypen!), but that... wow. that's above anything i could’ve imagined, you know? how i loved being part of this era and closely following all the stages (unfortunately not in the literal sense of the word, but you understand me), witnessing all the achievements and precious moments between you all. i can't even describe how important it was to see you living this concept of youth just before ni-ki's birthday, his last year as a minor... and, now that this moment has passed and our boy has completed his eighteen years, you all become adults and grown men ㅠㅠ my love, look how far you and these boys have come! you, who have gone through few and good ones and debuted when you were still just young boys. seventeen-year-old jake would be so, so proud of the magnificent and charming man you have become today. and i am very proud of this man that you are! although for me you will always be a golden retriever puppy and my teddy bear that fits just right in my pockets. 🧸
of all the things i loved about this album, of course i can't help but mention how special and important it was to have received that handwritten letter from you. your delicate handwriting, the little doodles on the envelope, your way of saying “thank you” for your achievements and the way you adhered to your letter as "to my love engene"... jaeyun, you have no idea how much i love you and how happy you make me, do you? i will keep this precious thing forever in my heart, right in the warmest and coziest corner. i love you so, so deeply.
with love,
your mimi. 💖
“the sun gave me my warmth.” 🌷
my dearest jaeyun,
you, just like the sun, is light, coziness and the warmth that brings me comfort.
i can't even begin to describe the immense happiness i felt the second i woke up today and received a new notification from you. you, who tend to spend so much time offline and away from social media, posting again only after two days. you, who always appears when i most need your presence to comfort me. and, most important of all; you, who always attend my requests and post exactly what i wished for. it has been just two days since i "complained" about how much i missed seeing you posting cute pictures with your pouting face and you already made my dream come true. oh, how i love and appreciate you, my jaeyunie...
i also saw that you talked about how much you love being called by your birth name, which didn't fail to bring me a wide smile to my face, since i've been calling you my yunyun from the day i met you. i always thought that this name matched you so well; the way it sounds so adorable, how easy it is to associate you with it, how the nicknames "yunie" & "yunyun" represent exactly who you are (the cutest little thing to ever exist). it makes me so happy and giggly to know that you feel comforted by being called the exact way i like to address you. it's like it was meant to be! i used to think you would like and appreciate more to be known as "jake", so it's quite the news to me to see you being the opposite. oh, and now that i stop and think more about it, that's exactly how your heeseung-hyung likes calling you too, isn't it? "jaeyun-ah", "our jaeyunie"; i remember how frequent and casual it is to him to refer to you like this. he knows you so well, my heart feels so warm with the knowledge that he loves you just the same amount i do. 🐇
and, since we are on the topic of love, have i ever told you how much i love you, my pooh bear? of course i have, i always do. i can't go a single minute without telling you that, right? but that's because i really love you, yunie. you are so dear to me. you are the embodiment of the word coziness. you are so, so precious to me. i wish that one day you will get to know just how much your existence is appreciated in this universe.
with love,
your mimi. 💖
i wrote all of this a long time ago, so i don't really remember the date i posted every single one of these love letters i made for him... but, since this is my first blog update, i will be putting all of them together! this is my archive. enjoy! 🛏
꒰ 연애편지 #1 ꒱
“i asked the moon how to love people from a distance. the moon said by making them feel seen and better no matter how far away they are. they would always look for you, hoping you would recognize them in the dark and kiss them through the stars.” 💖
you are dearer to me than the stars to the night sky. i love you like the moonlight that kisses my skin when i’m stargazing, searching for a light brighter than that beautiful smile of yours. i love you, my sunbeam. i truly love you, my sirius. my pretty boy. my sweet angel. my baby. my sweetheart. mine, mine, mine. i love you to bits. you were made for me, designed to be the receiving end of all my passion and care. i love you, i love you, i love you!!! 🌷
꒰ 연애편지 #2 ꒱
é impossível que exista alguém neste mundo que o ame mais do que eu. ninguém jamais irá compreender o quão especial ele é pra mim, o significado da sua existência na minha vida, o quão feliz ele me torna. ninguém é capaz de superar esse amor imenso que eu cativo por ti, 𝒋. 🎀
sinto que nunca serei capaz de descrever o quanto eu o amo, tampouco explicar como ele me faz bem e o modo em que ele mudou totalmente a minha existência neste universo. ele chegou tão de repente e me trouxe tanto conforto, me tornou tão feliz, me encheu com tanto amor. ):
eu só tenho a agradecer. por tê-lo conhecido, por ter tomado a decisão de mantê-lo na minha vidinha e, claro, por ele existir. sem ele eu num seria nada além de uma casca vazia. é ele quem me preenche e ilumina meus dias. é ele quem trouxe vida de volta à minha alma.
꒰ 연애편지 #3 ꒱
당신은 영원히 나의 사랑이 될 것입니다. 나는 당신이 자랑스럽습니다. 당신은 천사의 목소리를 가지고 있습니다. 💌
you are literally the love of my life and this only gets reaffirmed every time i listen to your voice. you sound like an angel, my cherub ): i love you so much, you have no idea, my jake pooh. i’m so proud of you. you did so well, this looks SO amazing. i’m so excited!!!
꒰ 연애편지 #4 ꒱
my 뿌우이크 💖meu bicudinho mais lindo desse universo inteiro. ninguém ti ama como eu, ninguém mesmo. só eu tenho permissão para morder essas bochechonas totosas e provar desses mochis de morango. você é o MEU pãozinho, fui eu quem amassou direitinho! fui eu quem te tirou do forno!
me with my 뿌우이크 at this very moment:
꒰ 연애편지 #5 ꒱
if you ever feel a little wave of love wash over you... that’s from me. i love you so desperately, so intensively. i love you with my entire heart, my soul, my mind; everything in me is fully dedicated to loving you, cherishing your existence & admiring your preciousness. 💌
i love you in the winter, spring, summertime and fall. no matter what the season is i love you most of all. i love you in the daytime and all through the night. you know i love you all the time because it feels so right. im way too deep into this feeling to even have words to describe exactly how i feel about him... im just so glad i got to spend this lifetime alongside him ): he makes me so proud and i love him so much im just. filled with this cozy and warm sensation (it’s called endearment). 🍮
seriously, have you ever looked at someone and think about how much they mean to you? do you ever feel like your heart is just so full of love and happiness that it’s getting harder and harder to breathe? cause that’s the real feeling i get for loving him so intensively. i'm simply all made of love.
꒰ 연애편지 #6 ꒱
eu queria tanto ter o poder de lhe entregar em tuas mãos o mundo e todas as estrelas desse universo. como eu gostaria que cê soubesse o quão importante é para o meu coração, o quanto eu te admiro e como brilhas ao meu olhar. você é o meu sol. 💕
꒰ 연애편지 #7 ꒱
everything reminds me of him. from the sun shining bright to the burning passion i feel inside of me, swallowing my entire heart. the feeling of joy, the color yellow, the distant sound of someone laughing, an innocent giggle, the soothing sound of waves crashing on the shore, a bird singing as if it’s life depended on it, the refreshing feeling you get when taking a cold shower on a hot summer day, the coziness of having a picnic alongside your loved ones, the happiness of playing with puppies, the serenity of a cat’s purring, poems about love, a rainbow that appears in the sky after a rainy afternoon, anything that comes heart-shaped, the sweetness of chocolate, milkshakes and ice-cream (simply because i love it so much), the playfulness of a golden retriever (gosh, that’s literally him!), sunsets, a child drawing with chalk on the sidewalk... did i already tell you? that literally everything reminds me of him? everything that brings me joy. everything that makes me feel love, comfort, coziness. i love him so much, i always search for little pieces of him everywhere i go. 🍰
꒰ 연애편지 #8 ꒱
eu já expressei esse mesmo pensamento um milhão de vezes, mas não me canso de me repetir; amarelo é a sua cor. tudo de mais radiante sempre me remete a ti. desde os raios de sol que iluminam meus dias até o pólen das flores que encontro em minhas caminhadas.
é engraçado, sabe? como eu procuro por ti em todos os pequenos detalhes. como eu te encontro nas pequenas coisas do meu cotidiano, e como esses momentos sempre me arrancam um sorrisinho sincero. eu amo como te amar me faz bem. eu amo te encontrar em tudo que me torna tão feliz. & eu poderia passar horas criando uma lista de todas as coisas que eu associo a ti. és tudo de mais especial que existe; minha serotonina, o amarelo que colore meus dias, o sol que me ilumina, minha margarida, aquela sensação gostosa de acolhimento, meu conforto, meu acalanto…
꒰ 연애편지 #9 ꒱
you are the embodiment of comfort. you are the word “cozy” if i were to ever describe it as a person. you are my home, my anchor, my peace of mind. you showed me what true love actually feels like; and it’s like my heart is being hugged by a familiar warmth, kindly embraced, truly taken care of. my worries are no longer present, there’s nothing left to make me feel like i’m not worth existing. actually, quite the opposite; you are the light that guides me, you make me love being alive. since i got to know you i feel so thankful for the life i have.
i love being able to be here and watch every single achievement of yours. i love being able to watch you smile, to see you having fun, to appreciate your talent and, most important of all, i’m SO HAPPY i got to know you and listen to your angelic voice. gosh, i love you. 🎗
